twenty ow-nine

It was in January when I have to stay late until 1:00 in the morning (Manila Time) just to take a look at the inauguration of the first African American President of the United States of America – watching big names and personalities march toward that significant venue and see Barack Obama take oath as the new President – taking his slogan with NEW HOPE AND ‘CHANGE WE NEED’

I got three slices of pizza from a local fast food and keep the ‘box’ until now (until 2010)….literally! I don’t know, it never came to me to dispose the box….I just put them on my table with piles of papers, scratch papers and magazines on top

It was in March, officially taking our Bachelor’s degree during the Commencement with TOYM awardee as our guest-speaker, who is also an alumnus of DLSU…however, prior to that main even, I was feeling unwell

By the fourth month, I must say it was the peak of my vacation – A BIG BREAK after four years in the academe. That time, I was thinking, ‘finally! I can lay down and take a rest as much as I want…read books and wll be able to finish the novel I bought in September 2007’
I was also watching MODEL – a sort of documentary of some succesful supermodel such as Giselle, Astrid, Ines and Loneke to name a few

…ON THAT SAME MONTH, I got fever as what I’ve had on the previous month…but while taking a rest, that was the last time I got an opportunity to consistenly watch CASE UNCLOSED….

One day in April, my blockmate and I decided to go to a jobfair without any fix plan on our heads – we just got there, signed and then submitted our resume without thinking too much whether we’ll be hired in the coming weeks or worse, if we have ‘chance’ either

On April 27th, I was able to watch Secret Window, the movie adaptation from Danielle Steel’s book Secret Window, Secret Garden.

By May, I was hardly trying to finish the novel Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (the novel I bought in September 2007) while waiting for even a phone call about the status of my job application. It was a past time indeed whilst waiting for the so-called “luck”, however, I failed! It was a pale and sort of laid-back month for me – I was doing nothing except that I was waiting for my luck and finishing Bronte’s novel.

…It was reported that RECESSION IS ON ITS 18th MONTH

Anyway….

No luck, turned to last resort – I applied online and by the last day of May, I received an invitation for an interview in Eastwood, SCHEDULE: TOMORROW

FAILED AND PASSED – A TRULY DESPERATE TURN
(wednesday failed and friday passed)

By the first week of June, I passed the interview and then signed the contract the following day (it was Saturday) and eventually, I was happy…I thought ‘grab the chance, this might be the start’….’take this job or you may end up nothing…c’mon it’s hard to find a career these days’….however, they made us wait for a month before we got officially hired. And in between those days, I was busy getting all the requirments which I’m not really serious in pursuing.

The other story is, while waiting for July, which is the start of “our” pre-hire orientation, I applied as a ‘freelance writer’ – the good thing is, it’s an online job! And to tell you honestly, THIS WAS THE VERY FIRST SERIOUS JOB I GOT SINCE THEN. I received a congratulatory note from the Admin and they activate my account.
I officially started my “freelance writing job” by the end of June and SUBMITTED MY FIRST ACADEMIC WRITE -UP BY FIRST WEEK OF JULY in which, shortly after that is our PRE-HIRE ORIENTATION.

To make the story short, I SIGNED THE CONTRACT, AND TAKE MY FIRST WORK IN THE BPO INDUSTRY WHICH I AM NOT REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT!

IT’S A LONG BUT SENSIBLE STORY BUT THE WHOLE POINT IS, I AM NOT SERIOUS WITH THE JOB!

I AM AFTER WITH THE NOT-SO-FULFILLING SALARY!!!

Come July and I just see myself attending the PRE-HIRE ORIENTATION and then voila! As they say, the rest was history! You know the feeling when you engaged youself in  a certain activity without that sort of serious commitment, and the only thing that motivates you is–

And then from July – the second half of year 2009 I must say, was all dead! I’ll reapeat: IT’S A LONG BUT SENSIBLE STORY BUT THE WHOLE POINT IS, I AM NOT SERIOUS WITH THE JOB!

I’m sick!  And you know why it feels like dead? Try to go to a job that you not ‘really love’ with your only motivation is salary…

Anyway, I got the money to buy few books and movies….

Before the year closed, I was able to watch DIrty Dancing on ETC (the last Sunday of 2009) – the first time I watch this movie was when I was a senior high school.

I was watching the last news broadcast of CBS Evening News for the year when they made a highlight / recap of some of the important events that made 2009 a significant year. They also shown pictures of important personalities in politics, arts and entertainment who left us and that’s where I heard a famous quotation from Don Hewitt, a former host of 60 Minutes who convincingly says: “It’s just four little words: Tell me a story”

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1st Saturday–

It’s been a year since that nerve-wracking day for our thesis defense

….as it was said, ‘that was the day’

ano sa tagalog ang ‘POLITICAL WILL?’

Anong meron sa buwan ng Nobyembre? Hindi ako susulat ng entry para gumawa ng summary o i-highlight ang mga pinakasikat na nangyari sa mga nakalipas na araw ngayong buwang ito, bagkus isusulat ko lang ang isang ‘di malilimutang’ tanong na narinig ko kanina lang….

Pero bago yun, ayoko mawala sa ala-ala ko ang mga bagay na ito…

Una, ang Pinoy boxer na comparable kay legendary Muhammad Ali
Pangalawa, our very own, fellow Caviteño na si Efren Peñaflorida na tunaguriang CNN Hero of the Year
Pangatlo, MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE…mukang mas matindi pa sa Davao Death Squad ang execution “nila”
Pang-apat, ang medyo sarkastiko pero malaman na tanong ni Bayani “BF” Fernando sa special ng GMA News and Public Affairs na pinamagatang Isang Tanong,
“ITO ANG AKING ISANG TANONG. ANO SA TAGALOG ANG POLITICAL WILL?”

Ikaw, alam mo ba?

“Lost-Thoughts and Less-Thoughts”

The serious reason why I could not sleep for the past few weeks is because it feels like I am lost – you know what I mean by the word “lost”….right?

Hmmm…..

I’ve been counting days, months and years starting from 1998 – not that I have replaced those sheeps…not that I am putting myself to miserable situation of doing arithmetic before going to sleep…..nor getting to sentimental and reminisce what have happened in the past, but I just can’t hardly put away myself from those enless pathetic thoughts!

The sad thing is, as I keep on thinking the same things over and over, it feels like I’ll turn into a nervous breakdown and not to a comfortable good night sleep.

Those things are what I called as lost-thoughts – I’m lost but my mind keeps on thinking and thinking as well as imagining and imagining things over and over – when I realized, those are just “less-thoughts”

I’ve been counting how many years have passed since I was in fifth grade and how miserable/great/sad/happy my life was (and maybe the world) in between those years…

It was 1999 and today is the third quarter of 2009 – imagine, a decade of everything! I was in my fifth grade and this year is just a starting year for me to go to a f**** work, plan for my next job, think of what career should I pursue months or years from now, and then voila!

+I have a favourite TV program in a local channel and plugged that it’s their 10th year anniversary – too bad, it was just a dream for me to be part of that team. tsk tsk! You know the feeling when you have your “childhood dream” and certain that you’ll gonna take up this course so that you could be one of them and be like them, and then life took another turn and then you don’t have a clue why you pathetically landed in a situation to which you are now, isn’t it miserable! I once dreamed but didn’t seem to get into that track – but no regrets, really!

I once dreamed, and will continue dreaming and falling out and being rejected and then what’s next?

+plus, I’m planning to resign
___________

It feels like I’ll die few minutes afer feeling miserable thinking all of these non-sense thoughts…..and to be honest, I am all nothing but lost!

…a dream come true for the books…

what really caught my intrest to write this entry is to make note of an overwhleming experience i’ve encountered a couple of days passed – during the 30th Manila International Book Fair (MIBF) held at SMX Convention center in Pasay. Just to make it short, i have a list of classic literary and general fictions saved on my computer and in a sheet of paper which i’ve been really dreaming of to have ever since – not to mention that I strongly require myself to have those books the soonest time possible – a sort of collection though.

I assume you know the feeling when you really fall in love with a thing no matter how trvial or meaningful it is. And I did fall in love with books – with J. D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye and Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice just to name a few – these were literally classics in their own right. Moreover, I do not hesitate to give out cash over these classic novels since having them over my shelf is a priceless experience. And in another instance, I accidentally found Erich Segal’s enduring classic  Love Story – a number of decades past since its first publication and I’d never ever think that such novel was as thin as one fourth inch….lastly, I can’t find but reminisce what had happened to me last year on the same event when i do not have the money to buy even a book – how pathetic am I at that time. The story was simple, I came across to ADMU Press’s booth and found this sort of simple with a classic design book with the title: “Stories From Another Time” by Benjamin Bautista. Obviously, I go through with some pages and scanned the Foreword and Introduction and was amazed how literal the title is as it define the stories compiled in that book – simply put, the short stories or narratives embedded on it was told and narrated by people who have lived during the 60s and 70s (literally from another time), or probably they were at their 20s or 30s the time they wrote it – and then at that point, I suddenly thought of the film Batch 81. The book, as I first looked at it seemed classic simply because stories happened in the past and are being narrated as you’re actually reading it at any point in time and then I fell in love with it…

Too bad that I don’t have it until now that I am working and at least be able to purchase whatever books I may think interesting. Passed several months since the 29th MIBF and I accidentally red a book review on Butista’s Stories From Another Time, and couldn’t believe that I have the book after a year – now that I am able to buy novels that I’ve been longing to have.

As of September 20th, I have 4 on my table…

A dream come true that I have those in my possession!

“EE”

I don’t want to leave my September archive with NOTHING as what had happened last year…at least I have a good reason to write something for this month , just like February 1st where I go home without money but less than P70.00 as my transpo fee to get back home to Cavite.

….maybe, I will always remember September 16, 2009 for the sole reason that I got “recognition” for my very first job – and I never expect such thing to happen – it’s a long story though.

That would definitely be a milestone in my life, 100 days before Christmas, out of nowhere and unexpectedly, people smiled and kept on giving you compliments for the job done. Moreover, amidst all of these “sweet words,” I shouldn’t pressure myself to do more or perform better or up to my very best – just take most of the things as how they should’ve been done, period.

Can I have a re-take???….

After exiting the room of our trainor, I suddenly thought a little foolish thing: can I have a re-take? Can we do that again?

Oh certainly not! It was just a one-shot, one-experience make or break thing!

I was thinking too much about the assessment until I go to bed, and it took me a long time before I could finally sleep. I was too bothered about the interview that I keep on thinking that I could do much better, I could answer him much better but…..I don’t know! I was eaten maybe either by too much nervousness or by being too relaxed prior to the interview – and I couldn’t handle such thing until we left….

dreamin’ of London?

3 July

Friday

While traveling to Quiapo Church 3 weeks ago, we passed by the US Embassy and suddenly think that ‘what if I passed the 2-week work experience in McCann Erickson in UK, is there really a need for an interview with the UK Embassy?’ Well, I partly expect and then it’s nothing to me on the second thought.

All I think at that moment was just it’s like a dream come true for me if ever I will be accepted in their agency. Why? I don’t have any Advertising-related magazines yet and don’t have the money for my trip to UK, and then I feel a little sad about the reality. There was too much expectation while you are aware that reality will not permit that to happen.

While thinking about all those possibilities and impossibilities, I was just looking outside the window of the jeepney where we’re in while feeling too sentimental. Until we passed the Cultural Center of the Philippines, I was trying to erase those thoughts and then rather turned inside the jeepney when out of nowhere, a London sticker in the driver’s area bumped me – it was like a logo, or maybe a British logo representing the country itself. I thought that I was thinking too much of London that is why I suddenly strike with the sticker.

It’s really strange that after an hour or so of traveling, that’s the only time that I was able to notice the London sticker, right where I was thinking of going there some time. And I was just optimistic that it was indeed a sign!

“When It Rains, It Four”

Today???…….

Nothing special….again!

It’s just another usual day of the month, but maybe a little something “extraordinary”….

Going back to my last year’s post and it’s exactly a year now, that I was sentimentally commenting about the last years of my “TEENAGE LIFE” and officially bidding good bye to it…and just a year to count to officially open up another phase of my life, I can’t help but remembering an essay about a girl who nervously and emotionally introduced herself to “twenty-something” years of her life. She was quite well aware that another chapter has to come and should she faced it with courage and a welcoming attitude. Honestly, I never thought that I will be feeling the same thing now as what the writer felt on the last years of her ‘teenage life’. Anyway, I red that wayback in high school and the anthology was published during the 70s, but never ever anticipate a thing as to what I am feeling right now – sad, sad and sad.

My remedy: I just want to ignore the feeling of getting old, period!

Just as hers, I’m kinda scared to bring myself to a 2-0 digit of my life though I anticipate bigger obstcles and headaches this time.

I just hate it!

I just hate the feeling of getting old!

my blog TURNS 1

And it is officially 1 year!

My blog turns 1 yesterday and now, I could comfortably (to the slightest degree) call myself a “personal blogger.”

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